


My Rose Has Thorns (But They're Not Meant For Me)

by absolute-worst-idea (cxptained)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Anxiety, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cxptained/pseuds/absolute-worst-idea
Summary: “Is it the article?” Alex asks.Henry nods, swallowing hard and Alex understands he’s slipped into a non-verbal state. They’ve dealt with it a few times before, the two of them completely opposite when it comes to their anxiety. Alex can’t stop speaking, words fall out of him at an alarming rate until someone shuts him up to assure him that everything will be fine. Whereas Henry’s brain seems to shut down, rendering him unable to speak until he’s comfortable.Alex wants to protect him from anything so evil that it could take away that beautiful voice.-----------------It's an easy night, or at least it's supposed to be. The four of them relaxing in the pool. But something sends Henry into a spiral of anxiety and Alex isn't about to let him go it alone.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 350





	My Rose Has Thorns (But They're Not Meant For Me)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first RWRB fic and I'm super excited! Big thanks to Yavemiel for encouraging me to write this else it probably never would have gotten made because I was too afraid!

November is cold in DC. The breeze picks up in a biting way, the temperature drops till soft sweaters are an absolute necessity, and the rainfall is akin to a sprinkler stuck open.

By all rights, Alex should be inside. He should be cosying up with a textbook. His head should be in Henry’s lap. His feet should be kicking June accidentally-on-purpose every five minutes until she smacks him with her copy of  _ Hello _ .

But he’s not. 

For the last two hours, Alex, along with Henry, Nora and June, have been in the Residence’s outdoor pool. Now, they’re hardly going to freeze to death - Henry already made a dig about how catching pneumonia a week after they won the election would be something bittersweet and incredibly stupid - but it’s still something Alex is surprised he even managed to get the group to agree too. The pool is heated, of course, and there are heaters beaming down bright red warmth onto their backs. Until you move a few metres from the poolside, it’s almost impossible to notice that it’s eight o’clock on a chilly November evening. 

Alex is in a heated discussion with Nora about  _ probability  _ of all things, when a firm hand comes across his shoulder.

“Alex!” Henry calls out, using his boyfriend as a grounding point to drag himself through the water. “Alex, make your sister stop!” He complains.

June is laughing loudly, chasing Henry for reasons Alex has absolutely no clue. Henry lets go, forced to swim circles around him as he shouts his grumbling complaints until Alex starts to get dizzy.

“Stop.” Alex says, placing a hand on Henry’s chest, and his other on June’s forehead, effectively holding them both at arms reach. “What exactly is going on?”

“June’s trying to dunk me!” Henry complains. Alex raises an eyebrow. Behind him, Nora snorts.

“I’ve been dared. I can’t turn down a dare.” June says, her grin practically lighting up her entire face.

“You were…-- what?” Alex asks, still confused. June laughs properly. 

“Nora dared me to dunk Henry’s because--”

“I don’t want to get my hair wet!” Henry cuts in indignantly.

Nora loses it, folding herself over the side of the pool as she laughs.

“She had a bet that Henry would be a wimp about getting his hair wet.”

“And I was right!” Nora squeals, excitedly. Henry rolls his eyes so hard, Alex thinks he felt it in his chest. 

He has to admit though, it is amusing. Alex watches the way Henry’s eyes narrow at June in suspicion as she lurches forward against Alex’s other palm. He watches the little crinkle in the corners on an elegant face. He notes the bone dry blonde locks of hair and he does the unspeakable. 

He betrays his one true love. 

Alex takes his hand from June’s head and scoops a handful of pool water into closed fingers and dumps it over Henry’s head. 

“Hey!” Henry cries out, sounding delightfully English in his shock. Alex creases, Nora’s staring shocked and June takes her chance.

“Get him, Bug.” He grins, stepping back as June leaps out of the water with as much grace as a wonky dolphin and pushes Henry under the water. She goes down with him, holding him under for not much more than a few seconds before they come up, spluttering and laughing. 

Henry looks less than impressed, but Alex can see how that smile is failing to stay hidden. 

“You are a  _ git _ .” Henry decides firmly, gripping Alex’s bicep to stay afloat as he rubs the chlorine from his eyes. There’s an echo of a laugh attached to his sentence though, and Alex wraps his arms around Henry’s waist. He pulls the blonde in close to him, Henry sitting comfortably against his hip.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” Alex says in a tone that suggests he’s not sorry at all. Henry grumbles expletives against his ear and Alex can’t help but crease once again, laughing where he stands. 

It’s a perfect moment, and damn, if life hadn’t been full of perfect moments this past week. 

They won the election, he took Henry back to his childhood home, Henry had been allowed to follow him back to DC for a few days of well-earned relaxation. 

Alex smiles, and turns his head. Henry’s face is so close to his own, with their bodies flush together, that their lips brush without even meaning to. Henry’s lips are wet and they taste like chlorine. He steals the moment, and a kiss, swallowing a soft laugh that comes from Henry at the stupidness of the entire past few minutes. 

They pull apart to the scrutinising stares of both Nora and June who are looking at them with raised eyebrows. 

“Pack it in, some of us are depressingly single over here.” Nora says, and Alex splashes water at her in retaliation.

Somewhere, in the pile of phones that they left by the poolside, there is an obnoxious and high pitched ping. June swims over to investigate.

“Henry, it’s yours.” She says, picking it up and handing it to him as he comes over to collect it. “And if it’s Pez, please tell him I won the dare.” She teases, absolutely about to lord this over his highness for at least a week.

Henry rolls his eyes and takes it, leaning on the poolside as he scans the notification. June, apparently deciding now is the perfect time for a group phone check, hands Nora her phone too. Alex declines his and instead moves to sip on his drink.

He’s battling with the bright pink tiny umbrella that Nora insisted was necessary for their drinks in the middle of November when Henry suddenly gets out of the water. 

“I’ve…” He says, grabbing for his towel. “I’ve got to…”

Alex can’t even get to the right side of the pool before Henry’s body disappears into the cabana and, he imagines, down into the residence. June’s smirk turns into a frown, her brown eyes large and concerned. 

“That wasn’t…” June trails off and Alex knows she doesn’t like the idea that she’s managed to hurt Henry somehow.

“Not your fault, no.” Nora assures quickly. “Look.” She says, turning her phone around to face them. 

**DAILY MAIL:** **_‘HOW LONG WILL PRINCE’S FAIRYTALE ROMANCE LAST? Sources inside the palace reveal the Queen is strongly opposed to Prince’s gay fling with FSOTUS.’_**

“Shit.” Alex says, the words coming out between gritted teeth. “Shit. Shit. Shit. God-fucking  _ dammit _ .”

* * *

There is a brief moment, as Alex runs through the White House Residence in only his swimming trunks and a towel, that he worries he may never find Henry again. It’s not exactly a  _ small  _ place and Henry could have gone just about  _ anywhere.  _ But he has a hunch, and he follows it up to his bedroom. 

The door is closed, as it should be, but Alex finds an agent standing guard outside. He lets out a soft breath because at least now he knows exactly where Henry is hiding. 

“Hey, can you give us a minute?” Alex asks, flashing them an awkward smile as they eye him for a second before taking their leave into a nearby corridor. 

He dries himself off a little more, ignoring how there’s a pair of wet footprints leading across the expensive carpet up to his bedroom door. 

“Henry?” He calls through the solid wood. “Sweetheart? Can I come in?” 

“No.” Henry’s voice says, heavy and upset. He knows that voice, that voice breaks his heart. Alex also knows that, if that voice was left alone, it turns into something much more difficult for Henry to deal with. 

“Can I ask why?” Alex says softly. His hand rests against the door handle and as much as he could simply burst in, he doesn’t. 

“You should go enjoy yourself with June… an-- and Nora.” Henry tells him, a sob breaking up his sentence. “Don’t want to ruin it.”

“Henry…” Alex sighs, his forehead resting against the door. He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut for just a moment as he takes a breath. “You’re not ruining anything.” He promises, trying to convey it as earnestly as he feels. 

There’s a sharp breath from the otherside of the door and it feels like it’s pulled from Alex’s own lungs. 

“I’m coming in, alright?” Alex says, twisting the door handle slowly. There isn’t an answer, but Henry didn’t say  _ no  _ either so he enters.

The door swings open and he finds Henry, sitting on the rug by his bed and swallowed by Alex’s grey Georgetown University sweater with his knees pulled up to his chest. It’s a mess of a scene already; Henry’s eyes are pink and puffy, his hands are shaking and there is a tension in the room doing it’s very best to drive him away.

Alex doesn’t let it. He pushes past the spikes he knows of Henry’s defence mechanism and focuses on the way that blue eyes are begging him for comfort. Those thorns aren’t meant for him, but the rose it protects is his, and his alone. 

Henry’s mouth falls open, his brows creasing and it’s when no words greet him, that Alex realises they’ve just sailed past general upset, and straight into a panic attack. He watches for less than a second, as Henry fights his own lungs before he comes crashing down to his knees in front of him. 

“Look at me…” Alex tells him gently, scooping Henry’s hands away from where they clutch at his own knees and holding them tightly. “Look at me. We’re okay.” He assures. 

Henry struggles, his throat rough and croaking as he begins to hyperventilate, but after a few moments of squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again he finds Alex’s gaze. Alex makes sure to smile, even when his heart is aching with worry.

“Is it the article?” Alex asks. 

Henry nods, swallowing hard and Alex understands he’s slipped into a non-verbal state. They’ve dealt with it a few times before, the two of them completely opposite when it comes to their anxiety. Alex can’t stop speaking, words fall out of him at an alarming rate until someone shuts him up to assure him that everything will be fine. Whereas Henry’s brain seems to shut down, rendering him unable to speak until he’s comfortable.

Alex wants to protect him from anything so evil that it could take away that beautiful voice. 

“Okay.” He says gently, reaching one hand up to Henry’s cheek to wipe away the tears that are falling with the pad of his thumb. Henry tries to take a breath and he practically chokes on it, panicking him even further. “Shh, baby…” Alex murmurs, shaking his head. “You can do it.”

Henry’s watching him now with intent. He looks afraid, terrified of what comes next. His brows keep moving, dipping as though his body wants him to sob but the breath gets caught in him so quickly he never gets the chance. For a second, Alex worries that he doesn’t know how to free him.

But he does. He just needs to think about it. 

“That article doesn’t mean anything.” Alex starts gently, “It’s just one journalist with a completely uncredited source. We’ve gotten our permission - even if it is still  _ bullshit  _ that we needed permission to begin with. But we’ve got it. We even had our portraits done! And you look incredibly handsome in yours, might I add?” He smiles. 

Through the shallow breaths, there is a flicker of a smile in return.

“We get to be us, Henry.” Alex tells him firmly. “No matter what she thinks, or what the public thinks, or whoever wants to say any kind of shit thinks. We get to be  _ us _ .”

It’s a promise and Henry nods fiercely in response, his fingers tightening around Alex’s own. He tries another breath, slower this time, and it sounds painful as it leaves Henry’s lungs. He doesn’t have control of himself yet, but that’s okay. 

“Okay, c’mon. Off the floor.” Alex tells him with a nod. “We’ve got a perfectly good, expensive as hell mattress, that’s a lot more comfy than the rug.” He says, getting to his feet and putting out his hand. 

Henry takes it, hauling long legs beneath himself and Alex feigns a look of annoyance when Henry towers over him like usual. But when Henry looks at him like he just punched him in the stomach, he softens quickly. Now is apparently not the time for being classically Alex Claremont-Diaz.

He takes a couple of steps back and flops down on his bed, sinking into a mountain of pillows. Alex doesn’t know where all the pillows come from because he’s not really a pillow person, and he has a sneaking suspicion that June and Nora have some sort of bet for how many can be placed on his bed without his noticing. 

Oh well, it’s useful now. 

Alex tugs on Henry’s hand and brings him down against his bare chest. That perfectly tousled, but currently slightly flat due to chlorine, blonde hair is already dry and it tickles his nose as Henry gets comfortable. 

“Listen to me breathing, okay?” Alex tells him over the sound of Henry’s hyperventilation and he gets a small nod in return. 

He makes sure to breathe deeply, filling his lungs with as much air as he can before releasing it. His hand rests on Henry’s back, able to feel the way he takes every breath. Henry does his best to copy. 

Time passes, and Alex has no idea how much but Henry’s chest has stilled from erratic to a gentle rise and fall. Henry’s phone buzzes from somewhere on the mattress and he makes the brave decision to check it. Moments later it’s passed to Alex without a word.

**[text - June: ] Are you okay?**

Alex unlocks it with the passcode - their anniversary - and shoots off a reply for him.

**[text - Henry: ] It’s Alex, I found him. He’ll be alright. I think it’s a pizza and ice-cream kinda night though.**

**[text - June:] Got it, I’ll order.**

Alex loves his sister. 

“Pizza’s coming.” Alex says gently and he feels soft lips against his chest in gratitude.

He drops the phone back down onto the duvet and lets his fingers comb through Henry’s hair, watching how blonde strands fall perfectly back into place even now. 

The silence overcomes the room again and Alex finds he’s fine with simply listening to Henry breathe. 

A short while longer and the silence is broken.

“I love you…” Henry’s voice finally comes and Alex could whoop for joy at hearing it. It’s small, and tired but it’s Henry’s and it’s beautiful.

Alex squeezes him tightly, burying his lips in his hair and kissing the top of his head.

“I love you so fucking much, sweetheart.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!!


End file.
